


Keeping the thoughts at bay

by Confused_duckling



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Being a teenager SUCKS, Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Irondad, Marvel - Freeform, My First Fanfic, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, fluff?, implied/reference suicidal thoughts, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 15:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18577237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confused_duckling/pseuds/Confused_duckling
Summary: “Mr stark, I don’t think I’m okay” Peter whispered before the damn broke and he was crying.





	Keeping the thoughts at bay

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first fanfiction, and I hardly ever write so that why it’s probably so bad. But I just need to write something because my mental health is just not okay right now. So please don’t be too harsh but tell me if I could add or change anything or if anything is grammatically incorrect. Thank you:))

Peter knew it wasn’t normal to think about death a lot and how you could just die. How thinking about what would be your last words be wasn’t normal. And how it just wasn’t normal to think about dying this often. Yet he still did. And in a funny sort of way it was like it was his lifeline. The thought of just dying, just being gone, kept Peter able to keep on breathing. That thinking about his last words was able to let Peter continue on with his life. He always thought that he should tell something about all of this. But Peter didn’t want anyone to think he was even more messed up. So he just kept silent with the thoughts still running around his head. What the worst that could happen?

Peter shouldn’t of been surprised when he found himself at the top of the Avengers tower after a particularly hard day. It wasn’t like he was doing anything stupid, he was just sitting there watching the streets of New York City go by. But somewhere inside of him he knew he shouldn’t be here, maybe the thoughts would just become too tempting. 

He didn’t really want to die. Well he did but he didn’t at the same time. Life was just really difficult, school was stressing him out and he had his spider duties. And flash was being a dick, but was that really surprising. Homework seemed to become more and more as the school year went on. And he just wanted a break. A break from everything, just so that he could just think and clear some things up in his mind. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. So here he was, at the top of the avengers tower. 

Peter felt his chest raising with every breath he took. He could hear the pounding of his heart. And he could feel the tears building up in his eyes. He wanted to scream really. Just to let it all out. But he also wanted a hug, just for someone to hold him tight so maybe, just maybe, his mind would just stop thinking for a moment. Just so he could breath without the constant lurking of death on his mind. Just so everything everything could maybe be okay. He wasn’t sure if that was going to happen though. 

“Hey, pete?” A tentative voice spoke, it was gentle and soft but was loud enough to Peter out of his thoughts. He looked behind him and he saw tony. Mr Stark, was standing behind him on top of the towers, where Peter was currently sitting. 

“Hi Mr Stark, are you okay?” Peter asked with a slight tilt of his head. He tried to smile, to make the situation less awkward, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. 

“I think I should be asking you that, kid” tony sighed, walking over to join Peter “want to tell me why your here?”

Peter sighed sadly. What was he exactly meant to say?  
“Oh yeah I’m fine. I’m just here thinking what it would be like to die”  
Yeah that didn’t seem like the best often. But   
Mr Stark was here and he seemed like he cared. Oetee smiled at the thought, maybe he could help him. Maybe Mr Stark could help keep the thoughts at bay. He was iron man after all.   
Peter wanted to tell him, to tell anyone at this point but he wasn’t sure if he should. People would just judge him and think he was crazy. And Peter Parker wasn’t crazy, or he thought he wasn’t but he wasn’t sure about that anymore. 

“Pete,” Mr Stark started “I can try to help you if you tell me what got you thinking so hard” 

Peter met his gaze. He looked worried and concerned, you could see it in his eyes. Peter nodded slightly, feeling the tears in his eyes waiting to fall. He took a deep breath. 

“Mr Stark, I don’t think I’m okay” Peter whispered. He closed eyes hoping to keep the tears from falling. But he wasn’t so sure it would work. 

“What’s wrong?” Mr starks voice was filled with corcern and Peter could hear it clear as day. 

“I think I don’t want to be here any more. I don’t want to die, I don’t think so anyway. But the thought of death is just so loud. It like it’s all I can think about at times. And I know it isn’t normal but I don’t know how to stop it. And,” Peter took a breath, he was talking and he couldn’t stop, not now. “And it seems tempting at times but I don’t want to die. Mr Stark what am I meant to do. I just... i just want to be okay” Peter finished, his voice cracking towards the end.   
He shook his head trying to get rid of the tears. But it was no use and the best thing he knew was that he was crying. 

Tears fell down as his cheek as sobs shook his body. He told someone, it wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be, it was nice. It didn’t feel as heavy now. 

He looked at Mr Stark through tears filled eyes. The man was staring at him with a soft look. 

“Kid, I want you to know that I’m glad you told me and I know it must of been hard keeping it to yourself. But now I can help you okay?” Mr Stark said with gentleness that Peter never heard before. Peter nodded as Moreno tears made an appearance. 

He closed his eyes, hoping it wouldn’t end bad. But mr Stark didn’t think he was crazy or that he judged him right? He felt arms wrap around his shoulder. Opening his eyes he saw that he was being hugged by Mr Stark. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and buried his head into Mr Stark’s chest. 

“It’s going to be okay Pete. I know life can suck at times and being a teenager is hard. But I’m here now and I’m going to help the thoughts be quiet. So you won’t be tempted with death. It’s going to be okay Pete. You’re going to be okay” mr Stark said softly. 

And as Peter breath in the scent of him as he cried into his chest, he thought maybe mr Stark was right. And that he will be okay. He had me Stark to quieten the thoughts after all.


End file.
